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x and x the x dynamics x overfloweth x
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 21st, 2004|12:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | peace be still // bleach | ] |
( say what? ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2004|02:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | heroes will be heroes // cool hand luke | ] |
i don't ever want to lose the full function of my hippocampus. i mean, think about it. your hippocampus is the part of your brain that makes new memories. so what happens when you can no longer make new memories? every few minutes, your mind goes back to right before you lost your function of the hippocampus. you go crazy. the brain cannot handle chaos, so it tries to sort things out. why am i here? did i just wake up? is this my first memory? imagine that you still have emotion, you still have feelings for people, but you can't really explain why. or what if you can no longer make new memories, and then somebody near and dear to you dies, but you can't ever remember that they died? so whenever you inquire about this person, someone tells you, "well, i'm sorry, but they died a long time ago." so then you go into a state of grievance for a period of time. dude. i pray i will always have my hippocampus in tact! |
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| fake pets |
[Aug. 16th, 2004|07:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | headache | ] |
| [ | music |
| | plastic fantastic lover // jefferson airplane | ] |
i remember this one time in 5th grade, the whole class got assigned "pen pals" aka just a whole other class in a school from the next town over. i had always wanted a cat, so i remember lying to my penpal, kelly odle, telling her i had a kitten that was all black with one small white spot on its stomach, so we had named it snowflake. really there was no kitten at all. and i sent her a picture of me holding my aunt's ferret, and she thought i had a pet ferret, too. i never bothered to correct her. so she thought i had a dog, a cat, and a ferret. i really just had a dog. man i thought i was so cool.
-dunamus |
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| movie review |
[Jun. 29th, 2004|01:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | a christmas song for all year round // aaron sprinkle | ] |
i just finished watching the royal tenenbaums. one word for it: peculiar. okay, let's try two words: intriguing. but i wouldn't put them together, hmm. the music is what intrigued me most, i think. playing charlie brown christmas music at odd times, and playing a different classical tune constantly while they're at the graveyard... it was quite interesting. oh, i just thought of another word. actually, i thought of it earlier, but it didn't seem fit. now, all of a sudden, it does: creative. yes, a creative, peculiar, intriguing movie. i said i wouldn't put those words together. only a few minutes of typing and i've already contradicted myself. creatures of contradiction and habit, that's all we are. have a good night.
-dunamus |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2004|11:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
okay, so, i've been reading up on michael moore, because he seems to have been quite the discussion piece lately. so naturally, i want to find out what he's all about. i've come to the conclusion that he is one of the most ultimate deceivers in america. i have read articles about him from web sites from the left and right, and the whole thing intrigues me just a bit. i have seen his movie trailer for farenheit 9/11, and it looks like he's a master of scene sequencing and audio/visual editing. i wish i had a video camera and an editing program, so i could learn how to do that, and form something similar, just to show how easy it is to twist things around. i think i'm going to borrow/rent Bowling for Columbine and watch it sometime, though, so when the movie comes up in a discussion, i don't have to talk about it blindly. annnd, i'm going to watch fahrenheit 9/11, but not until it comes out on video rental. because i am not going to pay 5-10 bucks to sit in a movie theatre, and support someone who stands for everything i'm against for while i'm at it. well, not like i don't do that while sitting in a movie theatre watching any Hollywood movie... hmm, that can make a person think.
today i determined that i have an infatuation with the sky. and, maybe, someday if i ever have a little girl, that will be her name. sky. and my parents will get angry and call me a hippy...
-dunamus |
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| i'm not supposed to impose on family values, you know |
[Jun. 25th, 2004|07:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | are you the walrus? // furthermore | ] |
i'm quite content at this moment, and i'm not really sure why. i woke up this morning angry at the whole world, once again, not really sure why. there was no particular reason. my anger turned into tiredness, which then turned into contentness. i don't think contentness is a word. anyway, i have nothing going on tonight, which is good. because being busy can kill a person at times, i think. i've gone out (or, like last night, have had people come to me) the past 4 nights, and tonight, as dorky as it sounds, i am going to stay home on this friday night and play with my piano and guitar. ooooh yes. drums? no. i sort of want to just give those up. they just sit there. there they are... to my left. sitting there. not touched. in like a month. jeez rachael what's your problem. oh, my sticks look lonely...
okay, so today i read about michael moore's movie coming out this weekend (?), Fahrenheit 9/11. and, it was really weird reading it, because i had no feelings of anger or despite stirring up within me as i read the article. i just pity the man, really. it's just one of those things where it's not worth getting into an argument over with someone. the only thing i find worth arguing about is abortion. because those are babies, and someone needs to be their voice since america won't stop killing them off. okay yeah, and sometimes the whole gun issue gets to me. i will ask people to back themselves up with facts if they are going to spout off garbage about charlton heston or the NRA. because that stuff is pretty black and white. but when it comes to politics- i really have to be in the right mood. and i won't argue about religioin or my beliefs either. because i find that all rather pointless as well. if someone does not believe in God, and they want to argue with you about God, well, what is the point? you both don't even have a base to argue on. if i say there is a God, and someone else says there isn't, then what is there to argue about? oh, there's also those petty things Christians argue about, as well, which i find rather absurd. like, secular music vs. Christian music. or what did Jesus (or paul or moses or whoever) really mean when he said "_fillintheblank_"? man, who cares? (lately that has been my motto... hmmm...) and i don't like it when other Christians shove their beliefs down other people's throats. hmm, let's see... oh yeah, non-Christians don't like it either. which is why it's a turn-off. street witnessing and preaching... don't get me wrong, i'm not like against that or anything, it's just that there's a time and a place for everything.
i think that's all i have to say today.
-dunamus |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|01:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | whirlwind // dispatch | ] |
ok, so today was like all the other days i've had this summer when i have nothing to do: buy jellybeans, go to the library, read, and rollerblade. i'm being sucked into that horrible thing we call tradition. it's a pretty scary thought. but i did take a walk today. that was quite unordinary. it was unordinary because it wasn't planned. i was just walking to my car from the library, but then i passed my car and kept going. i really have no idea why i kept walking. i felt as if i had some strange force driving me. it was so odd, but i just kept walking, right past my car, onto the grass, onto the sidewalk that led me to route 441. once at route 441, i realized that i didn't know what i was doing, or why i was there, so i turned around and went back to my car. it was the freakiest thing. but i do suppose that freaky things happen to all of us, and it's what makes life interesting. and without life being interesting, what fun would life be. you know what i don't like- when people don't live their own lives. like, people who live life trying to please everyone else. i mean, yeah, okay, i am a people-pleaser. i admit it- i don't like it when someone gets mad at me or talks bad about me. this is why i try not to gossip. but, ya know what, there are certain times at certain places where you just have to let loose. like today, on my walk for instance. i had my keys in hand, but kept right on walking past my car. and i think a couple people in the parking lot might have stared. and, on my way back, i took off my sandals and walked barefoot. and that lady putting her child in the carseat of her van- she stopped for a second, and looked at me and my bare-footedness. and i thought, "ok, so?" i mean, really, i'm never going to see the woman again. who cares if she thinks i'm a bit odd. really... who cares? and this brings me back to my point... i prefer to live life not caring what anyone else thinks. i mean, not to the extent of that one guy in that movie office space. ha. no, there are boundaries. but, like, you can't be too hooked up on what people think of you. oh, so what- i'm a dumb kid. oh no, i'm scarred for life. not really. oh, i think i'm 5% pride. i only say 5% because i don't like to talk much about my achievements in life. but, the thought of even mentioning my "percentage" of pride in me makes me a bit prideful, doesn't it? and there are certain things i do like to pride myself on- like how i don't give in to much pper pressure. i hate that. i've always hated that. someone trying to force me to do something just makes me want to rebel even more. and sometimes it gets to the point where it's not the issue anymore, it's the principal. and if that doesn't make sense, well... i just don't care. that is the moral of the story here, folks. can't you tell already?
-dunamus |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|01:36 am] |
ok, so i've decided to give this journal a different purpose. i like to ramble about nonchalant things quite often, so i'm using this as my freewrite journal. whatever comes to my mind, i type out. i do this a lot with my tangible journals, but having an online one is nice, too, i suppose. i've heard that people actually like to read my flowing thoughts. not sure why, though. amusement, i think.
-dunamus |
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| leap day poem |
[Feb. 29th, 2004|10:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | you know what i mean // jeff beck | ] |
( Read more... )
not quite sure if it's finished yet.
there's the draft, anyway.
-dunamus |
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